Anonymous asked: Judging by your recent posts, I'd say you had a pretty killer weekend? ;-P
It was supposed to be a normal weekend, but:
L: So, I know this sounds weird, but I think one of my house guests stole my lube.
A: Who was the last person to stay with you?
L: My grandfather.
A: That is not cool.
L: And in related news, I think my one-night stand got up at 6am, stealthily showered without asking, and then refolded the towel and everything, and is now pretending it didn't happen.
A: You've got to stop opening up yourself--I mean opening up your home.
L: Yeah. Both of those.
The ocean is awesome and for winners. YOU’RE for tools.– Jack, 30 Rock
natashavc: “The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.” - Christopher Hitchens My worst nightmare is being forced to drink champagne at a picnic.
☐ single ☐ taken ☑ Potato
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
stephgeorge: hugparty: I feel we are at a place in our relationship where we can skip the dates and just get high in our pajamas, eat pizza, and watch Headbanger’s Ball without talking to each other. Are we dating now? …can we?
Only on Tumblr would I accidentally see my best friend’s boyfriend’s penis multiple times.
Carmen’s very sneaky—and that’s not racist because I...
I WANT A MOTHERFUCKING SQUEEZ-IT RIGHT NOW
Thank you, internet.
Ask me some questions, get some answers. →
Cuz that’s how it works.
Well, I tried.
If you stare at the picture long enough, you...