When someone asks you when you're going to get a...
…and you’re just like “I don’t know, I guess tomorrow when I walk out of my house I’ll just choose one from the swarm of guys that all come sprinting towards me.”
S: So I heard you had some super-sexy sleepover?
K: It's a 'yes, but'
K: It was awesome, BUT
S: But what?
K: Oh, the usual. Really good looking. Hedge funder. Crazy money.
S: And...MARRY HIM
K: Pretty sure he's a Republican.
S: Ew... :-/
K: And I recently found out he went to a Jesuit college.
S: OH DEAR GOD WOMAN WHY DID YOU DO THAT
K: It's like you're the hysterical voice inside my head.
turnaroundbrighteyes-: deanmadevarsity: Omg...
I THINK I'M GETTING CARPAL TUNNEL IN MY TUMBLR...
Anonymous asked: Your page looks like hot ass in Firefox.
S: Could you stop masticating like a cow?
Me: Could you stop being such a --[boss walks by]
That feeling when you get to the end of your...
Got a Real Important Question for You Guys
professionallush: Can SEX FRIENDS Stay BEST FRIENDS?
Philadelphia Man Shoots Friend for Eating His Cake →
That feeling when you're so hungover you're pretty...