I think if they put a laugh track on Intervention, it would be funny.– -Zach Galifianakis, GQ
thedailywhat: OMG! Adorbz of the Day: Lauren & Jean-Pierre got married. This is their Passion Pit-powered wedding video that you’re gonna love to hate to love. [onethingtosee.]
Today I wore loose black pants and a b/w striped...
My asshole 50ish coworker who I want to punch in the throat daily: So, y’know how they say you should dress for the job you want… Me: Yes, and today I want to be a mime.
Take off all your Silly Bandz. I wanna know what they look like in their natural state. When they are the most silly.
Fucking Herald Square...
Me: : You know what's worse than tourists?
Me: You have to say, "What?"
Me: Tourists plus scaffolding.
[As a copy editor] I’d always had an eye for error: When one of my best friends...– The Awl
bbones: met my dentist’s assistant at a party last night. “OMG YOU DO MY TEETH!” “I KNOWWWW” “ALCOHOL IS CORRODING MY TEETH” “PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY BABE!” “TOTALLY” *cheers*
On 1st Street, looking at Mars Bar
“I’m pretty sure I’ve thrown up there before.”
RuPaul: When did you lose control of this wig?
Jujubee: When I got the wig.
CL, watching TV in bed: *fist-pump fist-pump fist-pump*
Me: What are you doing?
Me: Are you fist pumping?
CL: I just wanted to see how it feels. I don't think I'm doing it right.
They gave us survival kits today. Y’know, in case we’re attacked by...– AC
It’s not that I don’t respect you, I just think you’re fucking...
Mmmm…just make you wanna smack somebody, don’t it.– Gina Neely, eating breakfast, on “Down Home with the Neely’s”
I saw a homeless man sleeping on the street and I was jealous.– J, on working 14hr days.
Sorry. I just got so excited I had to poop.
Let me just be honest with you: don’t ever do that again.– J thinks I shouldn’t talk about myself
You're not pregnant. And you shouldn't cry into... →
I’ve seen more divalike behavior in Starbucks over soy milk than I’ve seen...– Alex Ross: The Rest Is Noise: Quote of the day (via themorningnews)
Don’t be hatin’ on me ‘cuz I’m digging in the trash.– Hobo to suits
This is why you don't piss off designers. →
No, my job isn’t just hitting ‘refresh,’ you asshole.
Two kids, probably 12 or 13, get on the bus.
Kid 1: What a day.
Kid 2: It was okay.
Kid 1: What do you mean? It was great.
Kid 2: I don't man, I mean, I feel kind of like a fool. When you think about it, we went all the way to Santa Monica just to get a Big Mac.
Kid 1: Nah, man. That shit tasted so much better than it usually does.
Kid 2: It kind of did, didn't it?
Kid 1: Shit was amazing.
Kid 2: Yeah...
You are East Germany. And I am West Germany. And I am bigger and better than...– Ah, in-office threats.