Yum...oh. Nevermind. This is way gross.
My reaction every time I get a knish.
Fuck you before-5-o'clock Friday
Fuck you before-5-o’clock Friday. You are such a waste of my fucking time. Making me get up early. Put on fucking appropriate clothes. And then what do I get in return from you? Nothing. You so utterly fucked me, Friday. (No, not you after-5-o’clock Friday. You’re fine, I love you. No, shhhh. Please don’t be like that. You know I’d never say that about you. I love you...
Oh fuck it I'll just embrace the bus and get used...
Throw me under the bus again and I will eat your...
Yeah. I have a pretty violent internal monologue.
this link makes me wanna smash my face into cement →
(via bbones) Whoa.
It was like watching a mummy battle.– Party Down. Season 1. On watching old people have sex.
Ladle, ladle, ladle—oh, I’m drunk.– JZ. Singing. This morning. At 10:24am. Right after we had mimosas at work.
Once during finals, I was so worn out I couldn't...
This is HYSTERICAL. Wait it out. The whole way.
I totally put ketchup down what’s-her-name’s ass.– overheard last night in Williamsburg
Why Bros Get Iced, Bro - The Awl →
rickyv: I have literally never seen something take off as fast as Bros Icing Bros. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sunday night every grocery store in the country is sold out of Smirnoff Ice.
JW: Excuse me, do you know which way the bowling alley is?
Officer: Can you hold on for a minute? I'm in the middle of arresting someone.
16 Items They Only Sell at Chinese Walmarts →
I’m always amazed at how much pee smells like popcorn.– Another profound quote from AC.
This pretty accurately sums up my nights out with...
Why isn't my life more like a Cobra Starship...
[Zee]: I just had to grab this from my new favorite blog, Clients from Hell. The blog is a collection of anonymously contributed client horror stories from designers. Client: ”So I just wrote my first post on the blog you made for us. Can you publish it to all RSS feeds?” Me: ”Do you mean publish it to your RSS feed? Because that happens automatically.” Client: ”No, I mean ALL RSS ...
"Sometimes, you can have a McRib. Sometimes." →
I just love the whole idea of fat en masse…I think that a fat flash mob...– riots not diets: Quote from Fatcast
Once again, Isabella Rossellini makes me extremely uncomfortable. (Thanks Chris.)
Yeah I farted. Jealous?
A “spinner”? A spinner’s…um, y’know, a girl...– Thank you, J.
Now he's been arrested, and instead of just a few... →