“Next to “Space Balls,” my second favorite movie as a kid was about a bear cub…Have you guys ever seen “Bear”?”
—
April 2010
35 posts
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Sometimes, don't you just want to set your coworkers on fire?
“I can’t even be bothered to think about the Granta party. Like, I’m bored before i even think about it.”
—Last Night: The London Review of Books Party - The Awl (via themorningnews)
“Can I just be honest? I wanna do you in the pooper.”
—Drunk man to my friend during her Coyote Ugly audition
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Ninjas are the deadliest force on Earth
They could be dressed in all-black in the middle of a sandy desert at noon, and you still wouldn’t see them.
What’s the only defense against a ninja? That’s right: another ninja. Which means you’re fighting katana with katana. And once the one ninja defeats the other, what do you think is going to happen? That he’s going to smoke-bomb disappear into the sunset?
Guess again—he’s going to remember he’s a stealthy killing machine and come after you.
Know what else? There are way more of them out there than you think.
See that bush in the park? No, you don’t.
Because that’s a ninja.
Homeless guy?
Ninja.
The cute dog wearing a ridiculous retro down-vest?
Ninja.
via [Suvudu]
- This would maybe make the best nature documentary ever.
- Asst #1: Last night I had a dream about being attacked by a donkey.
- Asst #2: Oh, I know what your mean: zebras are my Freddy Krueger.
- Asst #1: I know, right? Because they don't even sound like regular fucking horses.
- Asst #2: And they're camouflaged like lightning!
