“1:00PM – Start making stuffing. I volunteer to make stuffing every year. I’ve heard of people who put oysters in their stuffing. That’s fucking gross. I’ve never eaten stuffing and thought to myself, “Hey, you know what would improve this? Shellfish.” Why don’t I make shrimp raisin bread while I’m at it? Disgusting.”—Every Thanksgiving, I like to read Big Daddy Drew’s Thanksgiving Itinerary. It’s right up there with the annual broadcast of It’s a Wonderful Life among holiday traditions. (via thefeeling)
My coworker has “written” a book and it’s awful and it’s about something that happened to her and she’s super proud of it and talks about it all the time and how agents don’t even know what they’re missing and all I can think is HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED YOU’RE NOT EVEN FAMOUS AND YOU HIRED A GHOST WRITER WHO IS TERRIBLE. That’s all.
@meganlives YES. YOU DO. YOU SO DO.
@nerdshares I don’t knowwwww. That’s why it’s so frustrating! If there was a (unfortunate man named) Jack Shit, he woulda done more than her.